


Love Thou Cans’t Not Have

by 1010nabulation



Category: The Goblin Emperor - Katherine Addison
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Ear Kink, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Prostate Massage, Roleplay, Sex Tears/Crying During Sex, innocence kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 13:07:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14356146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1010nabulation/pseuds/1010nabulation
Summary: “Then tell me, how wishest His Serenity to entertain thee in bed? Shall I require thee to bend thy knee and suck the imperial cock? Or take thee forcefully upon thy desk whilst pulling at thy hair? ...Or dost fantasize about being the one to fill thy emperor’s tight hole with thy straining member until he cries for mercy and for more?”Csevet makes love to a dear friend pretending to be Edrehasivar. It becomes far more emotional than either of them bargained for...





	Love Thou Cans’t Not Have

**Author's Note:**

  * For [farevenasdecidedtouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/farevenasdecidedtouse/gifts).



> Happy Smut Swap! I hope thou enjoyest this treat!

“Art certain thou wishest to do this, Sothea?” Csevet asked, watching as Sothea eschewed his usual flare of bright color and donned a pale blue night robe from Csevet’s closet.

The fabric appeared nearly white in the dim moonlight streaming into the window of Csevet’s small but private bedchamber. The robe had to be one of Csevet’s own; Sothea owned nothing quite so subdued, his tastes tending toward the flamboyant and the artfully subversive. Csevet knew he enjoyed the looks of distaste and discomfort on the faces of those nobles and courtiers who disapproved of the way his bright ribbons and Barizheise-cut courier leathers skirted the edge of what elvish high society thought proper. What he was asking of Sothea was the antithesis of his own aesthetic, and Csevet feared he was venturing close to violating his principles in the process.

Sothea smiled as he let down his dark, tight braids and loosened them so that his hair tumbled freely over his shoulders. “Believest I would agree to something I did not think I would enjoy?”

The wry quirk to his full lips was reassuring, and Csevet had to laugh. Shaking his head as he, too, changed into something more comfortable, he admitted, “No. Thy obstinance has gotten thee into more than a bit of trouble over the years, that I well know.”

Couriers were not in a position to say no and expect anything less than dire consequence as a result. Sothea bore the scars of his defiance beneath that robe and behind that impish smile. That he had found his way into the service of the venerable, notoriously eccentric, and kindly Dachensol Habrobar was a blessing and a great relief to Csevet--one less dear friend about whose safety he would have to constantly worry over.

“Good,” Sothea said, languidly spreading himself across Csevet’s narrow bed in a way Csevet could not imagine Maia ever doing. “Then tell me, how wishest His Serenity to entertain thee in bed? Shall I require thee to bend thy knee and suck the imperial cock? Or take thee forcefully upon thy desk whilst pulling at thy hair?” He knew how Csevet’s tastes usually ran, as they’d enjoyed each others’ company many times before, though never before had such words called as fierce a blush to Csevet’s cheeks. “Or dost fantasize about being the one to fill thy emperor’s tight hole with thy straining member until he cries for mercy and for more?”

To his surprise, Csevet found it difficult to meet Sothea’s gaze and confess what he was truly hoping for. Maia, Csevet thought, would not be as forceful or domineering--or experienced--a lover as Sothea was. He was, he found, embarrassed to request something more tame from Sothea.

He licked his lips and looked out the window instead, at the stars shining in the clear sky of a summer’s night, and thought of Maia. “I admit all of that does sound appealing, but… His Serenity, I believe, would require a gentler touch. He is unfailingly kind and… innocent in many ways. I would not ask roughness of him, not at first.”

There was movement on the bed, a glance revealing Sothea was drawing himself up and deliberately arranging himself more demurely, with the hem of his pale robes draped more fully over his legs. For a moment, the illusion that Maia sat upon his bed made Csevet’s breath catch. Sothea’s skin was darker, his silhouette a bit broader and more muscular, his hair not as voluminous, and of course his eyes were like gold chips rather than Maia’s moonlit grey, but in the dim light it was enough. 

And then Sothea broke the illusion with a devious grin and words Csevet could not imagine Maia speaking. “Ah, wishest to take His Serenity’s virginity, then, is that it?”

That wasn’t quite it, but Csevet did not expect Sothea to understand the depth of feeling he had for Maia. How could he explain that what he wanted was to show Maia love, to give of himself and make Maia see and feel how much he meant to Csevet? Perhaps it was better if Sothea thought this merely a sexual fantasy.

“I would ride him sweetly and tenderly,” Csevet said, giving Sothea a rather saucy wink.

Sothea grinned and nodded. “All right, come here and kiss thy emperor.”

Joining Sothea on the bed, Csevet did just that. He closed his eyes and let the feel of soft lips meeting his ease him slowly out of his initial awkwardness. He thought of Maia’s lips. Maia’s tongue meeting his, allowing him to deepen the kiss, fingers twining into the soft hair at the base of his neck.

The hesitant way Sothea was touching him, running his hands very lightly and tentatively over Csevet’s back, not quite daring to venture past his lower back as they kissed, allowed Csevet to slip further into the fantasy. It was so different from the way Sothea usually behaved, but very much the way someone new to this kind of experience would hesitate to explore too much too quickly. The way Maia might do.

Csevet took his time, kissing So--no, Maia; he wished to think of only Maia just now--until they were both short of breath. His hands dipped beneath the soft night robe to touch Maia’s chest, rubbing and teasing his nipples into stiff peaks. The gasp he elicited from Maia upon flicking the tight buds with a manicured nail made heat coil low and tight in Csevet’s belly. Already he was hard.

While his hands were occupied, Csevet kept his lips and tongue busy as well, kissing and sucking at Maia’s neck, at the sensitive join of jaw and ear. Maia’s hands became more adventurous as well, straying to Csevet’s hips, smoothing over his arse.

“Yes, touch me,” Csevet said. Reaching for his own waist, he undid the sash of his robe and let it fall open. “I am yours, Serenity.”

Maia hummed and took the invitation, warm hands slowly, softly moving beneath the robe now to touch bare skin. Everywhere he touched, Csevet’s skin lit with sensation. It wasn’t long before he shrugged off the robe entirely, letting it fall forgotten to the floor over the bed’s edge. Maia’s hands stroked over Csevet’s back and then lower to cup and knead the globes of his arse. Csevet lifted his hips to encourage more of that.

“That feels so good,” Csevet whispered into Maia’s ear before licking along the delicate edge. “Tell me what feels good to you.”

“That. Keep doing that!” Maia said, high and breathy. He tilted his head to allow Csevet greater access to his ear and shifted his hips, his arousal obvious as it pressed against Csevet’s thigh.

Csevet hummed, the sensation sending a jolt of need through him that made his own cock jump. “What, Serenity? This?” His thumbs caressed Maia’s nipples again. “Or this?”

He took the long tip of Maia’s ear into his mouth and sucked at it until it quivered against his tongue.

“Oh, _that_! Please, Csevet, my ears, sweet gods I don’t want thee to stop,” Maia groaned.

That was all the encouragement Csevet needed. The excitement and the informality of that plea made warmth bloom in his chest. He sucked and nipped at Maia’s ear, and reached up to caress the other with his fingers. Maia writhed beneath him, mouth open in silent ecstasy. That he was getting such a reaction was a heady thing indeed. Csevet’s cock ached and he could not resist rocking his hips to grind it against Maia.

Maia’s own hips were moving, too, his hard prick rubbing at Csevet’s thigh. Unfairly, the robe still covered him, so with his free hand Csevet reached between them to fumblingly untie it and push the soft cloth aside. They were entirely skin to skin now, Csevet still lavishing attention upon Maia’s ear with kiss-swollen lips and velvety tongue.

“I did not know your ears were this sensitive, Serenity,” Csevet whispered, the soft warmth of his breath on his damp ear making Maia shiver.

“Ah! Wilt make me spend from this alone!” Maia gasped. His chest heaved with each shallow breath, nails digging into Csevet’s back.

It took strength of will for Csevet to resist continuing to suck and nip and stroke Maia’s ears to make him do just that. To make Maia come without so much as touching his cock was such a delicious idea. But if this was the one night he’d have with him (for how could he ask Sothea to do this again?), he wanted more than that.

“We’d best move on, then,” Csevet said, his voice lust-roughened. “Are you ready for more, Serenity?”

Maia nodded. “Please.”

“Will you prepare me for your cock?” Csevet asked. He wrapped a hand around Maia’s prodigious girth, stroking just enough to tease.

Biting his lip, Maia nodded again.

“Use this,” Csevet said, reaching over to grab the vial of oil on his nightstand. “Coat your fingers and put them into me.”

“And that will feel… good, for thee?” Maia looked up into Csevet’s face, all wide-eyed innocence. Csevet could almost believe he’d never before done anything like this in his life.

“Absolutely, Serenity.”

Maia wasted no time in slicking his fingers with fragrant oil. Gently, Csevet directed Maia to shift so that he was above Csevet now. Spreading his legs, Csevet allowed Maia as much access to what lay between as he possibly could. Maia’s touch was slow but sure, fingers moving smoothly in the cleft of Csevet’s arse and swiping up to fondle his stones before finally pressing two fingers against his hole.

“That’s it,” Csevet sighed. More times than he could count he’d imagined Maia’s fingers--long, thick-knuckled, and beautiful--entering him, spreading him wide, filling him. And while he knew this wasn’t truly Maia, it was still sweet to think this was what it’d feel like: almost painfully slow, sensual and intimate in a way that made Csevet ache in his body and his heart.

When two fingers moved easily, Maia added a third. At that, Csevet let out a low moan that halfway through became a gasp--inadvertently, Maia had brushed his fingers against that sweet bundle of nerves within him.

“Sorry! Should I stop?” Maia asked, alarm in his voice.

“No, keep doing that! Right there!” Csevet said, voice tight. He had the fleeting thought that he’d have to introduce Maia to this pleasure if he’d never felt it before, and then all thought fled his mind as Maia did as instructed, rubbing at that spot again and again.

Soon, Csevet’s cock was veritably dripping early seed upon his belly, thighs trembling as Maia’s fingers sent wave after wave of sparking heat through his loins. Through lust-hazed eyes, he looked up into Maia’s face. The curtain of his dark hair cascaded forward to cast his features into shadow, but Csevet could see the adoration and avid concentration on his face as he turned all his attention to the task at hand. That task was apparently to turn Csevet into a live wire of over-stimulated need.

Huskily, Maia said, “Is this good? Shall I keep--”

“Fuck me now, Maia, please,” Csevet groaned. “Lie down that I may sit upon thy cock. I want thee to fill me entirely.”

Without another word, Maia withdrew his fingers and allowed Csevet to shakily get up. He lay himself down and drew Csevet to him again to kiss him deeply as Csevet straddled him, Maia’s iron-hard cock sliding agonizingly sweetly against Csevet’s own. 

Csevet shifted his weight, balancing one hand on Maia’s chest while with the other he guided Maia’s length into his hole. The stretch was exquisite, just on the edge of pain, melting into pure pleasure. His eyes slipped shut and he could not keep his mouth from dropping open somewhat as he sank completely onto Maia’s thick cock.

Maia’s hands smoothed up and down Csevet’s thighs, warm and sensual. As Csevet began to move, he rocked his hips in staccato time, helping to build a rhythm. “Art a glory,” he breathed. “Gods, art so hot and tight around me, Csevet! Don’t stop!”

“I wouldn’t--hhah--wouldn’t dream of it,” Csevet panted.

It was overwhelmingly good, the feeling of Maia’s cock thrusting in and out of him, filling him so perfectly, connecting them in a way Csevet had desperately and futilely wished for for so long. Csevet felt his stones begin to tighten with impending crisis even before Maia’s hand closed around his length to stroke him in time with the motion of their bodies. Too soon, it was too soon, and yet here it was.

A flood of sensation and emotion swept through Csevet. His whole body tensed as it crashed over him, an orgasm so strong his vision sparked, his seed spurting hard over their bellies and Maia’s hand. “Maia!” he cried, like a prayer, broken and exalted.

“Oh, mercy, art all right? Csevet? Art weeping!” Maia said, stilling within Csevet and reaching up with his clean hand to tenderly wipe the tears from Csevet’s cheek.

Csevet nodded, trying to smile even as the tears continued to fall. “I’m fine. Keep going.”

The look Maia gave him at that was doubtful, but Csevet rolled his hips and tightened his muscles around Maia’s cock, and it was enough to convince him to keep thrusting. It did not take much more to drive Maia to the brink, especially as Csevet leaned in and took Maia’s ear into his mouth, sucking at its tip. With a moan, Maia reached his peak as well and spilled his seed deep and warm within Csevet.

They lay bonelessly together a while after, Maia’s arms wrapped warmly and soothingly around Csevet as he lay atop him. Csevet carded his fingers through Maia’s hair, savoring every last moment he’d have before the fantasy was over. 

Slowly, his tears of overwhelming joy subsided and he came back to himself.

“Thank you, Sothea,” he whispered.

Sothea smoothed his hand down Csevet’s side, uncharacteristically quiet. When he spoke, it was softly. “Thou lovest him. It wasn’t the _Emperor_ thou wished to debauch. Lovest the _man_. Maia.”

“ _Thank_ you, Sothea,” Csevet said, more acerbically than was called for. A moment later, he sighed. The fire had gone out of his voice as he added in nearly a whisper, “For all that I know nothing can ever come of it, yes. I do.”

“If ever need’st or wishest to make love to thy Maia again, may’st call on me.” Sothea’s voice was quiet still, not his usual brazen tone at all. His lips met Csevet’s temple in a chaste and tender kiss.

Whatever response Csevet had thought his confession might get, that one surprised him. “I appreciate the offer, but… why? That can’t have been much to thy tastes.”

“Don’t sell thyself short; art a great lay no matter the circumstances. And if I can be an acceptable substitute for thee, I am happy to oblige.” With a depth of sadness that came from the heart, he added, “I know what it’s like to love someone that can’st not have.”

Softly, Csevet kissed the delicate strut of Sothea’s collar bone. “I’ll take thee up on that, then.”

“Good! I rather liked being called Serenity, I must say.” There was laughter in Sothea’s voice again.

“Drunk on power, art thou?” Csevet said, smiling. “Soon wilt be incorporating more silver and pale blue into thy wardrobe.”

“Now _that_ is a step too far.”

Csevet laughed, feeling a lightness of spirit and of body he hadn’t in a long while. Perhaps he could never have what (or whom) his heart truly desired, but he could live with this. He had love, of a sort, and a deeper understanding of a dear friend. 

It was enough.


End file.
